Lexis Texas

sxsw 2011 and why my grandma is awesome sauce

2011-03-20T15:08:00.000-07:00

Uh yeah. I haven't blogged in months. This isn't because I haven't been writing. I've got several standing documents on my computer where I chronicle my thoughts in blog-fashion. But when I come to blog online I come because I'm sharing information I think would be useful/enjoyable to other people. I guess this means I've had nothing useful/enjoyable to share since January. Until now.

SXSWSXSWSXSW! South by Southwest, or South by, or SX always takes over my life. Every March, on some mid-month Wednesday to Saturday time block I board public transport and head downtown like some kind of music zombie. This year was no different. Here's what tickled my tickler.

Darwin Deez from NYC:

Do you like Pavement? Ben Folds? The Incredible Moses Leroy? You'll like this band. I did. Here's a piece-

Bodega Girls from Boston:

Do you like to dance? Do you like to jam some LCD Soundsystem or Prince when you're feeling funky? Maybe some Black Keys? Here's a piece of one of the best live shows I saw (no live element in the video...just music)-

Okay. That's all I've got for now. I saw dozens of bands, but I want to move on to more important matters. Why my grandma is awesome sauce:

If you know me really, really well you know I adore my Grandma Weiner. She and my Grandpa moved to STL when I was little and my dad was sick. She proved to be an inspirational figure for me very early on. She's one of those adults that treated me with respect from day one. She's also the hippest lady over 70 that you'll ever meet. She regularly watches The Daily Show and MSNBC. She will proudly talk about her socialist father. Her hero is Margaret Sanger. When I was a pre-teen and playing Duke Nukem and Heretic on my computer so was she. Before her hands started shaking too bad she used to be president of the local "older residents" computer club in her neighborhood (over 50 members!). She made a dvd for me of photos when I graduated college set to Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World." She never went to college but has done more to independently further her education than anyone I have ever known. She is funny and friendly and brilliant. When I'm feeling any of these traits I feel certain that they are stemming from her influence. So a few days ago I emailed her this sentiment. Let her know that I'm happy, that I have more good people in my life right now than I could have ever hoped for, and that I think much of my success has come from her mentoring. This is her response:

That is probably the loveliest thing ANYONE has ever said to me. I'm going to save it close to me (possibly in my bra) forever.

You were so easy to converse with even as a toddler. I can't wait to see you. I wish you lived in my pocket!

Seriously, right? Awesome. Sauce.

what's mine

2011-01-06T18:28:00.000-08:00

See the left half of that little pink house? That's mine. Well sort of. I pay rent to live in it. Being an adult seems to be a lot about owning things...or sort of owning them. It's those "sort of" situations that make me feel like I'll never really feel grown-up. I have a car "sort of." I mean it's mine, but it was my parents first and they gave it to me (it's a 99 ford escort, i'm spoiled, but not THAT much). I have a masters degree "sort of." I mean it's mine, but I'm still paying off the loans and I'm pretty sure if you don't pay they take those things back. Right? Right?! Why else would anybody pay them?!

My job is mine. That's one thing I feel pretty proud about. For years, pretty much from 2004 on, I've felt like I've been perpetually searching for something salaried, with benefits, that I liked doing. And I have it now. It's fantastic. As stressful as it can be sometimes (thank you 11-hour work day yesterday), I am so grateful for it. So it's hard not to define myself by it. If I took it away, tried to wipe it from my head for a minute, and think how I would identify myself it begins to get tricky. This is being an adult. People always seem to take what they do as an adjective about who they are. When you're 13 it's all about what you like. At 13, if some other 13 year old asked me to describe myself (probably in a chatroom), I would have said, "I like R.E.M., thrift store clothes, thinking I'm funny, talking on the phone, and trying to keep things from my parents. Oh and pretending I'm older than 13 whenever possible."

So now these type of things have been replaced by "hobbies." Because for adults owning things also now means owning things about themselves and what they're passionate about. And you have to decide those things in a way that sometimes feels similar to deciding to like R.E.M.

I always feel like I'm scrambling for hobbies. Because of this I've learned how to knit, to cook, to rock climb, and to exercise. There are a lot of young adults I know that do social sports like kick ball or take yoga. I wonder if any of this really works for them, because I feel like it only "sort of" works for me. I do the things, I like them, but I don't feel like I can own them. I never became a knitter or a rock climber; I learned how to do those things and thought, "okay, what next?"

From age 4-17 I took dance classes and loved them. Once a week I would put on tap shoes and/or ballet shoes and think, "I like dance. It is a thing I like to do. It is part of me." I've thought about taking dance classes again, sad adult dance classes with other people trying to find a hobby, but I feel like I'd only be trying to recapture that certainty that I had when I was younger.

I'm pretty sure everybody *needs* to have something that they can latch on to when they try to adjectivize (deal with it) themselves. It makes me think of those acrostic poems everybody wrote with their names when they were kids. What would mine be now?

R- sort of rock climber

A- sort of artistic

C- sort of cook

H- sort of hot (couldn't resist that)

E- sort of educated

L- sort of literate

I guess maybe it's about just hopping that sort-of hurdle and totally owning things whether you really 100% do or not. I'm 60% sure of that.

Sunday

2010-12-19T12:49:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in my yard right now on a folding chair with my feet up on another folding chair. It's December and it's 63 degrees. I'm right next to a little stand up fire pit that I used for a fire with friends on Friday night. The neighbor's cat has crossed into my half of the yard and is under my tree sunning herself. My wifi works out in the yard so I can write this blog right now. I'm listening to Polyphonic Spree. Things are good.

I moved just over two weeks ago. Today has officially busted into the beginning of my third week. It's a little unreal. I have to keep reminding myself that I get to stay here as long as I want. This 63 degree day has me thinking of summer time, having people over to play croquet (oh, i'm getting croquet) in my backyard. Or on July days, when I'm feeling lazy, just stretching out on a towel with some sangria. I feel incredibly lucky to have found this little perfect house in this little perfect neighborhood. It was all so serendipitous. I went to lunch at this vegetarian restaurant on a work day and parked right in front of the house. I opened my car door and saw the For Lease sign. It was magical. And now, only weeks later, I get to sit here.

(I'm facing the house right now. Thats the chair for my feet.)

what it means to be an adult---austin style

2010-11-17T06:04:00.000-08:00

Two thoughts for today:

1)In your 20s you can live in an apartment with amenities that are likely to be nicer than you'll be able to afford in your 40s. University of Texas has over 50,000 students. These students need places to live. This makes competition fierce among apartment complexes. It is not unusual to walk into a duplex/apartment and see stainless steel appliances, marble countertops, and wood floors. It's a little humbling to know that your switch from "poor" twenty-something apartment dwelling to home ownership is likely to be a huge downgrade.

2)I've realized recently that my conversations now aren't that different than my teen years. Just replace the topic of boys with the topic of food.

Example:

I think Tom is great and it seems like he likes me. He's always around and trying to make me feel really good, but Rick is cuter.

I think breakfast tacos are great and it seems like they really like me. They're always around and trying to make me feel really good, but cereal is healthier.

I talk about food every day at least half a dozen times. And these aren't just "I'm hungry" conversations, these are lengthy, emotional discussions about things that are tasty and why.

remembering my spirit

2010-11-01T17:16:00.000-07:00

So the title of this comes from something Oprah said a few years ago and now, more than remembering anything else about Oprah episodes I watched, I remember the "spirit journal" and the fact that Oprah urged everyone to take time to "remember" their "spirit." And, like many things on that show, I thought the presentation was cheezy but the general-well-"spirit" behind it was worthwhile.

Its a weird feeling when you forget your spirit. And I'm not being facetious (I had to look that up for the 50th time. I never trust I'm using that word right). I really can identify times that I've lost touch with who I am and what I want. Its those nights where you go home and you're like, "wait. what was THAT?" or something comes out of your mouth that you felt was true when you were saying it but as soon as you're done feels totally wrong.

Maybe most people let this stuff go, but I can't. I'm aggressive about authenticity. I want to make sure at any moment I'm being exactly who I want to be. And maybe, to a greater extent, who I'm perceived to be. This is energy that is well-spent when you're writing a paper, exhausting when you're trying to have a friendship. Sometimes I get off the phone/get out of an email/leave a conversation and think "Aah! What was that? I have to call/write/tell them that's not what I meant! They're going to think that's who I am and it's not!"

So back to the spirit. So when I do connect with someone on a level that feels spiritual and I think I'm being understood I feel like that is happening because I am being authentic and they are being authentic. This is a tricky area, because it sets me up for this deep sense of betrayal when I find out this isn't the case or, to a lesser extent, if I hit a point where suddenly it becomes clear that the connection isn't cosmic but instead based on my projection. I wanted the feeling of absolute belonging with this person so much that I invented it.

You know what I would hate if I were you reading this right now? I'd be like, "GAH! Why doesn't she just tell me who/what she's talking about?!" Okay. So I'm not talking about anything or anyone in particular. I'm talking about this general feeling I've been having. That I'm missing the forest for the trees. I've become addicted to this spiritual connection I'm talking about and it's ultimately leaving me lonely. For example, I'll meet people and discover they used to watch "Murder, She Wrote" too when they were little, I'm like "OMG! Me too!" and suddenly I'm picturing us having 17,000 things in common. We all like Eight O'Clock coffee, love wearing scarves, and hate laundromats. He/she wanted to be an art teacher when he/she was eight. We enjoy dark beer and can't stand those Real Housewives shows. So, when my new spiritual twin reveals that he/she in fact loves Real Housewives I want to start to cry. Because I feel like this ruins everything. If we were *really* connecting spiritually he/she would have followed this narrative I put together.

Interestingly enough, when I become obsessed with this diversion I feel like I'm totally forgetting *my* spirit. I'm focusing on the mundane and not trusting a connection and appreciating it for just that. Yes, we both felt moved by The Lorax, but you can think Quentin Tarantino is a genius and I can disagree and we can still have The Lorax. And that's amazing in itself because that is a rad book. Because there are lines in there that meant something to me that also meant something to that person. And having that is an awesome thing. And finding someone that cares about what you care about, even if its only a couple things, is what life is about. Thats what having a spirit is about in the first place, right? Not every friendship has to be about twinship. If I spend a lot of energy projecting myself I won't ever really know someone and furthermore they won't feel comfortable letting me really know them. I have to leave room for them getting me to care about what they care about and being open to that. I can't merge my spirit or make theirs less or reduce/enlarge them into something that they're not for my own needs. It assumes that people are only what they like and the best thing about many of my friends isn't that we like all the same things, but that we like each other and we care enough to want what they want for them. And to abruptly stop and quote The Lorax:

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better. It's not.

Austin City Limits 2010

2010-10-11T18:09:00.000-07:00

Normally I would talk about the three days of the festival and the amazing bands I saw there (p.s. check out GIVERS as my top up and coming band pick) and talk about how fantastic Muse, LCD Soundsystem, Pete Yorn, Flaming Lips, Foals, etc. were and how rad it was to be there for free as a volunteer.

But instead I want to talk about what today was like after three days straight of ten hour outdoor days. My coworkers were both amused by my red sunburned nose and confused by my stamina. They all assured me they were too old for a three day festival. And for the first time in my 5 straight years of 3-day or more festivals (Lollapalooza, ACL, SXSW, etc), I thought maybe I was too. On Saturday night during Muse I noticed that somewhere during the day I hadn't only gotten a sunburn but a throat ache too. On Sunday I packed DayQuil and Kleenex in my bag with me just in case. I found myself that night, during The National, just feeling sleepy. It was 8 o'clock.

Today I went to work with sore legs and a deep concern that I might soon "age out" of festivals. I find myself more ornery at the teenagers I see at these things. On Sunday, while waiting for Yeasayer to start, one of them spilled water all the way down my back. I shoved him in a rare display of pure aggression. He said, "my friend made me do it!" Nice, bro. Nice.

That said, I still LOVE L.O.V.E. music festivals. I'm sure that as long as I physically can I will continue to go. It's like a little utopian city where high fives are free and it's acceptable to wander barefoot with a beer at 1 in the afternoon. A place where you can just stumble between genres, from Broken Bells to The xx to Monsters of Folk, without walking even a half mile. I want to live there. I just want all the kids to leave and for there to be nap villas. Make it happen, science.

coaching in luxury

2010-09-03T15:38:00.001-07:00

I need help. Someone has to show me how to spoil myself. Seriously. I have this painfully midwestern sense of farm wife practicality. Observe.

Things I have never done:

1) gotten a manicure

2) gotten a pedicure

3) gotten a massage

4) gotten a facial/spa treatment of any kind

5) had my hair professionally dyed or highlighted

6) had anything professionally waxed

7) ordered lobster or duck or steak in a restaurant

8) owned a car less than five years old (my current is over 10)

9) paid for a music festival (i always volunteer so i can go for free)

10) bought anything I couldn't pay for all at once

Yes. This may be fiscally responsible. I imagine my parents would read this and feel proud that they had raised such a practical daughter. I have savings. I shop carefully and consciously. It's all very reasonable. And boring.

Lately, I've been thinking about how I'm getting older and this window for frivolousness is closing. There is a certain class of things that you can discount as foolishness that comes with your "twenties." It's not uncommon to hear older people say, "oh yeah when I was in my twenties..." as if that was the time when anything was excusable. I'm not saying I haven't done my share of careless things, but I am saying I haven't done enough. And I need help. Soon.

swimming sacred

2010-08-29T10:48:00.000-07:00

The older I get, the more I believe in spirituality. And not spirituality as anything organized. And how the lack of organization is okay. For me. My parents were raised in differing faiths and both moved away from practice as they got older. So when they had me and time came for a religious decision they decided not to decide. They left God up to me. And, when I was growing up in a primarily Christian, often Catholic area, this felt frustrating. It didn't seem okay to be a misfit, at least not in this arena. I didn't know what I was and that was more troubling than I think my parents expected it to be.

It seems odd now to think about being distraught over a lack of religious alignment. Most of my friends now don't attend any kind of worship service. But, when you're a kid, and all of your friends are getting dressed up and going off to some big building every weekend it's easy to feel left out. Now, most of these same friends that were shuffling off to a church while I was playing in my backyard, have since told me about the conflict they felt when they left their faith. Since I technically never "left" anything I feel like I can't exactly relate. Sure we're both in the same place now, but our paths were different. I never had to go through the turmoil of leaving something that was a big part of my life. I never questioned God because I never devoted a lot of time, at least once a week, to thinking about Him. He was there, He wasn't there...it didn't really affect my day to day.

I guess I'm still a little ambivalent. But what I do feel, beyond God, is a sense of spirituality. I felt it today when I was going for a 9 am swim at Barton Springs. The Sunday morning crowd at Barton Springs is a religious bunch. They do their laps and dangle their toes and there's a huge sense of fellowship. I lay in the sun and it was quiet and honest and peaceful. It felt sacred. And it wasn't about God, at least not directly. It was about the letting go and the acceptance or faith that everything was good.

I've realized, thanks in some sense to my family, that my relationship with something bigger than myself can be just that, my relationship. And while sometimes it's easy to feel that left out feeling when people talk about their religion, I remind myself that not being in their specific faith doesn't take anything away from mine. I actually sometimes feel lucky to have found my spirituality in a way that was organic, a way that made sense for me, instead of struggling to squeeze parts of myself into something that didn't exactly fit. Now, I can be in religious service every day. In swimming, in working in the yard, in cooking, in listening to music, and in my moments of true connection with friends and family. It's pretty miraculous. And okay. And good.

babies

2010-08-08T10:51:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid I used to alternate sleeping with my stuffed animals so one wouldn't feel unloved. As I got older my attention turned to cats and dogs. I preferred my pets shy and would seek to draw them out with gentle pets and my best attempt at a calm presence. When I hit my teens I became everybody's confidant. I didn't date, but I became the go to person when everyone else that was dating wanted to discuss it. These days my mothering comes out more pronounced through my job and personal life. I put probably far too much effort into making coworkers feel appreciated through birthdays and special emails. With Zach, I not only make dinner and clean house, but find myself watching over him to make sure he's taking care of himself. For someone who still feels a little squeamish about babies, I have a palpably strong maternal instinct.

A lot of this came from having a sick parent. The kind of sick that could come on unexpectedly. Before much was known about how diet affected diabetes, my dad struggled keeping his blood sugar under control. By the time I was nine or ten I became adept at sensing when he was slipping into an insulin reaction. His movements would become slow, his speech less focused, and he'd seem almost drunk. I'd spring up to get something sugary and then monitor him until his regular self would return. I can't even describe the combination of relief and pride when I'd "fix" him.

In the past few years I've noticed the long term effects this nervous vigilance has had on my relationships.

-I want to help everyone all the time, whether they know they need help or not.

-Drunk people freak me out. They are unpredictable and exhibit all the same symptoms my dad did when he needed sugar.

-I am hypersensitive to people's moods and changes in personality. I adopt the role of peacemaker most often just to get the uncomfortable feeling their imbalance causes me to go away.

I know adults aren't babies, but I also know they can be just as fragile. There have been at least a dozen times where I could have lost my dad. The multiple car accidents he had and 911 emergencies that have resulted from his diabetes have made me very aware of how health problems can create life or death situations. All of this never made me think "I want to be a doctor;" I still can't give blood without passing out. I guess the one thing it did do was subconsciously make me designate myself as responsible for everyone in the room. This, my friends, is the reason "Rachel hates fun" came about. If I'm around people that are losing control I spring into vigilance. This cancels out any chance of me having too much of my own fun. The plus side is that as I've gotten older I've been in this scenario less and less and it's allowed me to feel more comfortable letting go.

My friends are having babies right now and I'm excited for them. I think, sometime in the next few years, I might do that too. But I know that, unless I can temper my watchfulness, my child will have absolutely no fun and all the same cautiousness that I struggle with now. So I'm trying to chill out and recognize that people can take care of themselves. Or, if they're not, they won't automatically end up in the hospital. I'm working to not always adopt the role of the most "mature" person in the room and giving myself a pass on taking control of every uncertain moment. It's surprisingly liberating to let things happen good or bad and feel yourself still in one piece. And it's even better when, after passing on an opportunity to be the responsible one, the people around you not only come out okay, but thrive in ways you didn't even imagine possible.

Time may change me / But you can't trace time

2010-07-09T06:13:00.000-07:00

New living space, new job...what is it, 2008? In two weeks my Americorps service will be up AND I'll be starting a new job with United Way. They hired me to work 30/hours a week plus benefits to be a Community Impact Specialist. It's going to be quite different from my work with 1 Hour for Kids and Youth Program Quality. No more mentoring and afterschool programs. I feel really strongly about the work I've been doing this past year and it's going to be hard to shift my focus, but what I'm going to be doing desperately needs to be done to support the structure of the organization. So I'm finding peace in the fact that my work will continue to aid what I was doing before, even if a little indirectly.

The other change that's coming August 1st is a move to a new place. It will be the same zip code and same neighborhood, but a duplex with a yard for Annabel. We put in our application plus deposit yesterday and we're hoping that everything plays out smoothly. I'm super excited to get out of this crowded, bug-invested apartment complex after two years of basically wanting to be ANYWHERE else.

So on to my seventh rented space and umpteenth job since college. I'm hoping these ones stick.

being cool with it

2010-07-06T03:23:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 4:45 am this morning and I'm being cool with it. Like, "oh this is fine. maybe i'll watch a movie" cool with it. Not acknowledging that it's more like, "I can't fall back asleep because my lease is up on August 1st and I don't have a place to live." Not, "I don't want to figure out how many days that actually is, because that will be even more frightening."

Zach and I saw this place last week that was beautiful. It was a two-story, brand new appliances, wood floor, 2.5 bathrooms, bay windows, gorgeous duplex castle for $800/month that (wahwah) doesn't have a yard for Anna. Zach had to remind me, "isn't the yard the reason we decided to look at duplexes?" and oh yeah, it is.

Okay. I think I'm going to try and sleep for an hour.

the thing is it's not like i set out to find my 9 year relationship.

2010-06-30T18:14:00.000-07:00

i think that's what people forget. zach just hasn't allowed me to fall out of love with him. it makes him quite impressive. i'm not sure many guys have that kind of stamina.

i felt philosophical today and was talking to my new bestie, alix (shout out!) about (what do girls talk about?): relationships. when you fall in love at 19 and then cultivate that for 9 years, each day is a surprise. there was nothing about the first three even four years that said FOREVER to me. it was simple, i was in love with zach and each day i kept loving him. nine years later and it still, luckily, feels relatively simple. i love him. he makes each day a little special for me. it's rarely big gestures. zach's not a big gesture guy. it's him saying a sentence that i never expected to hear or doing some kind of crazy dance in the living room that makes me think that no one else in the world has ever done that dance. a lot of the time i take all of this 9 yearishness for granted. i think, "zach never does dishes, i bet there's a guy out there that does dishes." i bet i could find that too. if dishes were the most important thing in my life (or even in the top 20) i'd be miserable. but i'm not.

on valentines day in year two of our relationship part of my present was "monster mad libs." he got me mad libs. no reason. it's not like we had some sort of "mad lib" joke that made them significant, he just saw them and in a panic added them to his purchase. it was ridiculous and i thought, "any other guy would have more sense than to do this." turns out thats one of my fav. zach stories and maybe it took me too many years to realize this, but i fundamentally don't want "any other guy." i can't handle it. the idea of a remotely traditional guy grosses. me. out. i'm too sensitive to that feeling of, "oh. you're doing THAT thing. that thing that you probably saw on Dr. Phil or read in some magazine or heard from some friend or saw in some movie."

i've always felt different about everything as it relates to "love" and "romance." i just can't fit in to anything i feel like i'm "supposed" to fit into. i never thought about what would happen at my wedding, felt totally terrified of my first kiss, and didn't really even "date" before I met zach. i'm awkward. i'm too self-aware to let anybody do anything remotely traditional with me without acknowledging that it's typical and that i realize that it's typical out loud. so how does this work? the first week zach and i were dating i went to kiss him and after three seconds he pulled back and loudly said, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" and then laughed at how funny he was. and i thought it was hilarious too. and i still do.

is the easy choice always the bad choice?

2010-06-17T17:45:00.000-07:00

Things got weird this week.

1) I got a full-blown head/chest cold in June after not being sick at all this year.

2) A totally unexpected position+benefits was resurrected at my work and I was told if I wanted it there was a 90% chance it could be mine.

Both of these things totally surprised me. Maybe most people feel like they deal in surprises all the time but I find that I'm rarely caught totally unawares. I'm one of those "lets-imagine-every-possible-scenario-and-prepare" kind of people so when something happens that blindsides me I fumble to figure out how I feel about this unexpected situation. I have a hard time reacting immediately to something and trusting that reaction. I want to analyze, look at things from all sides, and then deliver my thoughts. I hate feeling rushed into decisions.

So this new position at work was available like 3-4 months ago and then went away when priorities shifted within the organization. Suddenly, after some recent board meetings, the job came back. Since I've made my desire to stay abundantly clear, my bosses' bosses' boss (yep. it's like that) pulled me into her office, said, "hey, remember how we were going to talk about that part-time position? well that's gone. we're not doing that. good news is now there's this new one and, if you're interested in it, we'd be interested in you doing it." This new job is pretty far removed from what I was doing before. It's much more behind the scenes and I'd have a new supervisor and would be learning new software to do it. BUT (and hopefully it's a big but) there's supposed to be a lot more flexibility in it since they've unearthed it. Before it was pretty intense with data analysis, but I was told I'd get to mold it a little to suit the skills I've been building (namely facilitating conversations with nonprofits in the community and getting to work with organizations all over Central Texas that serve youth). I really like the work I've been doing and I'm attached to seeing it succeed. It would be hard to leave it entirely.

Most of that probably wasn't especially interesting to anyone but me. All of that background is just to say that now I'm faced with a choice to work in a new area, one I feel strays a little bit from what I'm passionate about. My question is: do I take this position because it allows me to stay in an organization I know and still contribute to work I care about if in a new, more backstage way OR do I go out into the world and seek a career that meets my desire to be out and about collaboratively creating change?

2010-06-04T18:40:00.000-07:00

I've lately been learning a lot about myself. This has largely been coming from an increasingly challenging work situation. Challenging in that it may not be my work situation for much longer. If you know me, you know that I have approximately eight positions listed on my resume covering the six years I've been out of college. Some factors outside of my control play into this:

1) I moved from Missouri to Illinois back to Missouri to Texas since college.

2) Several of these jobs were made to be temporary. Two were contract positions coordinating volunteers for festivals and two more were based around me being a student at the university. Once I stopped being a student the funding ran out quickly.

That said, I'm back in situation two more or less. My Americorps VISTA term is up next month. I knew it was a year long deal when I signed on, but from day one I decided I was going to make them want me to stay when it was over. Because of this (and in true nonprofit fashion) I worked twice as hard, took on twice as much work, and made twice as many friends around the office in an attempt to make myself irreplaceable. And it worked. Sort of. If you know nonprofit work you know that jobs are dependent on grants. And they were able to get funding for a position through a grant BUT it's only covers a part-time employee. So the clock is ticking. I have one month to cast my net even wider and try to find twelve more hours somewhere in some department to get myself there with benefits.

I worked on my resume tonight as the first step towards accepting a possible job hunt inevitability. It's getting tough to fit everything on there. I find myself deleting software from my "skills" section that I no longer remember how to use and taking out some of the padding I put in years ago when I only had one job to my name.

So what am I learning? That I'm much more valuable than the eight jobs on my resume suggest. That, because I adore the righteousness of nonprofit work, I am willing to keep running to new challenges in an effort to help the most people with the most need. This is why I want to stay at United Way. There is so much potential to reach so many people. But I know that if they can't find funding to keep me on a full-time/benefits basis that I'll have to leave. I'm 28 years old. I am an extremely hard worker when I am passionate about the work I am doing. I am creative and innovative and kind. And if I have to, I can find passion elsewhere. And do a damn good job.

Floating

2010-05-31T04:57:00.000-07:00

Before I moved to Texas my knowledge of the state really came from Yosemite Sam cartoons. I pretty much imagined I'd find mostly cacti and a sparse scattering of trees. It turns out Texas not only has many, many trees, but lots of rivers too! Last year I floated the Comal in New Braunfels, Texas (about an hour south of Austin). Yesterday I floated the Blanco in San Marcos (only a half hour south).

It being the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend we spent literally hours waiting in a line to even get in the river. In this line I saw 19-24 year old kids living out their parents worst fears for them. From 2 pm to 5 pm we waited behind a girl that had a "Made in Australia 1990" tattoo on her back just to get on a bus to take us and our inner tubes one mile to "put in." I know it sounds like I was miserable at this point, but all frustration melted away when we got in the river.

Zach's brother said this river kept him from finishing his degree at Texas State. It's about 5 miles from campus and he said that it was pretty much irresistible on hot days. The place we rented our tubes from is a local institution. Don's Fish Camp is run by an old shirtless man that wears shorts with suspenders and has the skin of an iguana. I'm looking forward to going back on a weekend where approximately 175 kids aren't in line ahead of me.

Back to floating, there's a lot of luck involved. At the end of the trip I felt lucky to still have my flip flops on, the cooler in tow, and the three boys I came with. The river regularly gets rapid and it is only by chance that you get to keep everything you foolishly brought with you. I also felt lucky that the cars in front of us got stopped by the police and not us. In a move that can only be called inspired the police set up right outside of the road that leads out of Don's. Who knew such beautiful tan people could look so miserable sitting in the back of a pick-up truck?

All in all I'd say this weekend really forced me to admit to myself that I've become a Texan. In two months I will have been here for two years. Though at this point I still haven't been a Texan as I long as I was a Chicagoan and I did still get nervous yesterday when I had to stand near someone with a confederate flag beer koozie, I'd have to say that I'm regularly having more fun than I've ever had before. For all it's brashness and blind enthusiasm, it's really kind of an amazing place. I think Molly Ivins said it best: I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it only with consenting adults.

First timers

2010-05-25T05:26:00.000-07:00

The proof of an adequate city is when you can live there almost two years and still have firsts. The past couple weeks I have had several of these.

1) Trivia. I've never participated in it before. My first time out my team, "Betsy Ross Perot is a Patriot" won first place out of 20+ teams. This won us a $25 gift certificate. So we went back to the bar (Shangri La) this week to use it and I played again. We didn't get first, but I was able to put my knowledge of the Marx Brothers and E. L. Doctorow to good use.

2) Salt Lick BBQ. Oh boy. A forty minute drive for exactly 40 pounds of meat for $40. Sooo good. For $20/person you can get a plate of all you can eat sausage, brisket, and ribs. It will be hard for us now to not go weekly.

3)Powerpoint. I'm old and a liberal arts (english even, one of the liberalist of the arts) person so I've never in my life had to give a powerpoint presentation. I know this doesn't fit into my proof-of-an-adequate-city category, but I had to give my first one last week. And it went really well. I have a little more confidence now that I can do things in the biz world should I need to for some godawful reason.

4)Little. I now have a "little sister" through Big Brothers Big Sisters. I actually need to get moving because I have to meet her for the fourth time in a half hour. She's a 7th grader and desperately loves anime. It's a challenge. That said, I'm relatively confident that there are few types of nerdy that I can't handle.

On timers

2010-05-23T08:30:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up to take Anna out to pee around 7:30 am and then crawled back into bed (as is usual on weekends) and couldn't fall back asleep. So I got up and did a load of dishes, did two loads of laundry, made coffee, toasted a bagel, and watched Inside the Actors Studio on youtube (John Goodman...a fellow St. Louisan). Now it's 10:30 and I've realized that pretty much everything I was going to do today is finished. I mean I still want to go to Newflower Farmer's Market and get chicken sausage, hummus, grapes, and maybe some potato salad, but my weekend jobs are pretty much finished (I cleaned the sink yesterday, did the other half of my grocery shopping, bought a frame for my new poster, and picked up my movie from the library that was on hold).

All of this rambling is to say that I'm very task motivated. I find it hard to relax until my tasks are complete, necessary or not. That is to say once I decide I should do some chore for the weekend I don't feel satisfied until it's complete. I find myself building a schedule each morning and then planning when I need to complete everything. All of this strategy is a little exhausting.

Austin as a whole is not task motivated. You'll find brunchers still brunching at noon. It's not unusual to schedule a meeting anywhere with anyone and have them be 15 minutes late. There's a real clear division between on-timers and not on-timers in that the on-timers stand out like that kid in your class that would say, "didn't you say we were going to have a quiz today?"

Summer time is a whole new beast. It's going to be 90 degrees plus all this week meaning that people will be moving even slower and almost every activity involves drinking and/or swimming. For example, this coming week I'll have a trivia night (drinking), a happy hour (drinking), a pool party (swimming and drinking) and a BBQ (more drinking). All of this makes every day here in the summer feels like vacation. Austin has this way of making everything a celebration. This is especially true once May hits. The grocery stores occasionally have live music, there are weekly city-wide social bike rides, I have a large collection of friends that participate in kickball/softball teams (also involving drinking), and the odds are about 90% that if you live in an apartment complex you have a pool.

All of this is to say that I find it very hard to be task oriented here. It just feels silly and meaningless. My years in fast-walking, high heel wearing Chicago seem to be melting off me like so much drunk sweat. And I like it.

What I still haven't learned

2010-05-02T19:04:00.001-07:00

So I've been 28 over a month now and what's most interesting to me isn't what I've learned, but what I still haven't:

1) I still have a hard time reconciling the conflicted feelings I have when many people want something that I can't fathom wanting. I always think to myself, "why don't I want that too? is it something weird about me?" At 28 this feeling comes strongest when I hear about people getting married and/or having babies. I don't want it now. I just don't. I think I will...at some point...probably...but I don't want it the way most people seem to and it makes me question why I feel that way. It gets harder as you get older because people start asking you to explain this in a way you didn't have to when you were 19 or 20. I don't get through a month without having to talk about why I'm not married (nine years with Zach as of tomorrow). It's like when I was vegetarian for that year. When you make a choice that goes against mainstream you suddenly have to become this activist for your decision and get on some soapbox, even if it's as simple as something that makes sense to you...not because you're anti the other thing.

2)I absolutely love people and I haven't learned how to keep myself out of everybody's business all the time. I think a big reason I became such a big fiction reader is because I can't get enough of hearing what people are thinking about, the decisions they're making, and then helping them plan their next move. This makes me a popular friend because I am pretty easily invested in whatever anyone's drama is, but leaves me a little exhausted when I put a bunch of energy into someone and they do something I spent a lot of time advising them not to do. Or I put myself in the middle, relay messages from one person to the other, and then days and hours of energy later can't find a way to get out. All of this said, I don't expect to grow out of this...I'm just hoping I can begin to leave more and more wiggle room as I get older to spend sometime on getting what I want instead of living through other people.

3)On a less deep note, it's still hard for me to dance like nobody's watching.

SXSW 2010

2010-03-24T19:22:00.000-07:00

I decided to post some of the SXSW surprises. The thing about a music festival that takes over the city and shuts down large portions of downtown is that in your strolling from venue to venue or when you're waiting for the next show you find bands you hadn't heard of prior that really make the day for you. Here are some of those bands:

- Bajofondo - This group introduced me to "electronic tango" (like techno tango really). This music makes it almost impossible NOT to dance.

- Carolina Chocolate Drops - Remember the song Hit 'em Up Style? Well this bluegrass band found exactly what that song was missing: a fiddle.

- Fanfarlo - They have a pleasant Arcade Fire quality.

rock climbing

2010-03-15T19:32:00.000-07:00

This is a picture from the south location of the Austin Rock Gym. I started taking weekly lessons here on March 1st. I heart rock climbing. It's the perfect kind of exercising for me. I tend to enjoy things that involve problem solving. Working out has always been hard for me to get into because mentally I can't get over the repetition. After 15 minutes of running I want to be doing anything but running. Climbing is a constant test of what logically seems possible and what is actually possible. Plus you actually get to accomplish something, as small as it may be, every single time you do it. After the two hours of class I want to do more. I'm not sure what's going to happen when the lessons are over since I took all of this on as a solo venture. I imagine I'll pay the monthly membership fee to practice more and then who knows? I really like the learning aspect and I'm concerned that when I stop being taught I'll stop knowing how to challenge myself. I guess this dilemma is similar to the one everyone faces when they stop taking any kind of class. Huh.

2009 is Cached: Not Another Reflective Post

2010-01-01T19:48:00.000-08:00

I thought about doing one of those year-end recaps, but I'm over 2009. It wasn't especially bad or good, I'm just over it and more than ready to look forward.

A couple things to work on for 2010:

-I'm not really in bad shape when it comes to health and fitness so I don't feel the need to burden myself with some sort of workout resolution. I'm good about keeping myself in check. When the extra pounds start to push 5 or higher I work on it. Otherwise I just go as I feel like it.

-I cooked a lot last year and I plan to keep it up. I'd like to thank allrecipes.com for constantly giving me the confidence to tackle new things.

-Currently, I need to try to avoid becoming a gossipy old woman from a Jane Austen novel. I like making friends and I like when people feel close to me. One cheap way to do this is to put myself dead in the center of everything whether I belong there or not. A few weeks ago I tried to set up two coworkers. I regularly pass on juicy information to friends with relish. I've been trying to cut this habit for decades. It's dangerous territory and the instant I suffer any backlash I want out and immediately regret my decision to open my big mouth. I need to try to cut back on this ASAP. (I'm realistic. I know I can't give up gossip...it's a little essential to having friendships with girls. But I need to stop throwing myself into it with such abandon.)

-2010 is the year I finally get a good job. It just has to be. I'm tired of living at the poverty line and limiting all travel because I can't afford any frivolous expense.

Other than those things I can't think of any life plans worth noting. I'd like to get to Chicago for a visit and I'm still juggling plans to get to Paris (all of this is conditional on the good job plan).

Winter in Texas

2009-12-12T06:03:00.000-08:00

The past two weeks have been cold. Like 43 degrees right now cold. But the high on Sunday is 71 so go figure.

Last year we had 1/10th of an inch of snow. People talked about it for days afterwords. This year there was a point a week ago where the prediction was 1-2 inches and everybody began discussing plans about school closings.

It's a lot to get used to after living in Chicago. Chicago residents wear their winter misery like a purple heart. You are not able to talk about snow/winter/cold with anyone from Chicago without them feeling an immediate need to one up you. This is because Chicago winter starts in December and lasts until approximately May. The only way to rationalize living in a place with six months of hats+gloves+scarves every single day is to take some sort of sick pride in it.

I've adjusted to the parallel universe of Texas pretty quickly. I now get cold when it dips below 60. I feel thrilled when I have an opportunity to wear one of the 7 winter hats I collected from living "up north." And when it comes to missing my purple heart, I just look forward to summer. Last summer we had over 50 consecutive days of 100+ degree heat.

1 Hour for Kids

2009-11-13T13:06:00.000-08:00

This United Way initiative has been my sole focus as an Americorps VISTA. My work days are 99% devoted to it (and 1% devoted to finding free food in the office kitchen). Check out this fantastic 10 minute video that explains why it's so important to mentor a middle school student.

this is not my beautiful house

2009-11-05T18:02:00.000-08:00

I'm having one of those "somehow I'm in Texas, about 900 miles from where I grew up, living in an apartment with my boyfriend of 8+ years and our dog, with a Masters degree, earning $909/month" kind of moments.

One thing that I've found, and I'm finding this is common among my friends, is that because I never set specific, achievable goals for myself I feel in this constant state of disbelief and uncertainty....disbelertainty. I never set out a plan beyond finishing college. It wasn't like:

1) 22 = finish college

2) 23 = land high-paying dream job making leather shoes that turn into gloves that turn into purses

3) 24 = get engaged

4) 25 = get married

5) 26 = get house

6) 27 = get pregnant

So now I'm wondering how I got exactly where I am, if this is satisfactory, and where I go next. Even now, on year 27, I'm uncomfortable setting a plan for myself into the next year. Is it because I think I'll fail or is it because I've done okay so far...why start planning now? I tend to go one or two days at a time. I have no idea what I'm doing next week unless I look at my Outlook calendar.

It's interesting that despite all of this I still attempt to compare myself to other people. I mean other people chart different plans for themselves, maybe even the year by year plan like the one I outlined above, so what's the sense in judging myself by their plan? I need to assess myself and figure out want I want. I need to take stock of where I am and where I've come from to figure out what makes sense for me going ahead.

The weird thing is that not only can't I look forward but I can't look back especially well either. Before I call my parents (on a weekly or every other weekly basis) I always think, "okay, what has happened that I can tell them" and I find it a little stressful.

I find myself feeling pretty out of control of my life. Things happen to me about 70% of the time and the other 30% I actually feel like I have some agency. So with these percentages I end up thinking, "Why set goals when ultimately most things I want are someone else's decision?"

Examples:

1) I want to get published.

-Editors decide this.

2) I want to work at a youth-focused nonprofit.

-Hiring managers decide this.

3) I want to own a house.

-I'm not even sure who decides this...banks? This is how far I am from even starting this goal.

I guess this rambling has left me pretty certain I should set goals but also pretty certain I'm not going to. So where does that leave me? Hmm...

Correction

2009-10-21T05:46:00.000-07:00

Okay...this is NOT just a Texas thing (I particularly like the Michigan one).

"Did you know this about Texas?" Item two

2009-10-20T06:03:00.000-07:00

Texas tattoos. They. Are. Everywhere. This isn't just for sports-crazed 300 pound men either. I personally have met one woman with a Texas tattoo who has no attachment to any Texas team. She just loves this state that much. I can't think of any other place in the US where this urge to get your state tattooed on you occurs. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

"Did you know this about Texas?" Item one

2009-10-20T05:50:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows about Texas toast, but did you know what else this great state offers? H-E-B (our mega-grocery store chain) sells Texas-shaped chips. It took about year for this to not seem weird. Now I don't think about it until someone visits and I realize "Yeah, I guess it is strange to have a chip purposely shaped like your state." I don't imagine Missouri chips would sell all that well.

Austin City Limits 2009

2009-10-10T14:27:00.000-07:00

You know who always puts on a good show? The Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Karen O is basically a broadway star. She believes strongly in a great performance full of costume changes and dramatic movement. I saw Yeah Yeah Yeahs at Lollapalooza a few years back, but I must say that I think she outdid herself at ACL this year. When I go to see a concert I really value the performance aspect. It doesn't matter how artistically interesting the music is, if I'm at a show I want to see a show. This holds especially true when it's in a festival setting. At any given time you're weighing the option of seeing three different bands. If somebody is just going to stand up there and play something exactly as it sounds on your stereo, you're going to get tempted to leave. ACL was especially rough because the weather was crazy. Day one = sunny and 80 degrees, Day two = rain, rain, rain pretty much all but two hours of the day, and Day three = mud pit. I'd like to say that I surrendered to the festival spirit, stripped to my underwear, and rolled in the mud but I ultimately revealed myself as the true prude that I am and only dabbled in some barefoot strolling (because the mud kept sucking off my flip flops). I did hang in there like a trooper though and stayed ten hours in the rain on Saturday and six hours in the mud on Sunday. I saw Dr. Dog, The Knux, Prescott Curlywolf, Phoenix, Daniel Johnston, Them Crooked Vultures, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Mos Def, Ghostland Observatory, Toadies, Dirty Projectors, Dead Weather, and heard some of Girl Talk and Pearl Jam from my volunteer shift. Yes, I volunteered. I don't know why more people don't do this. I signed up to volunteer for Fun Fun Fun Fest next month. I mean, how could I turn down a chance to see Danzig?

Sundays mean...

2009-09-27T09:01:00.001-07:00

-making coffee to give Zach the motivation to get out of bed before 11.

-taking Anna to the dog park

-making sun tea on the porch

-checking PostSecret

-cooking biscuits and gravy with Zach

-vacuum

-dishes

-laundry? (not this week)

-watching movies from the library (Man on Wire? Eagle vs Shark?)

-going to Newflower Market (spinach, bell peppers, cheese, walnuts, apples, meat, maybe some asparagus)

-choosing between chicken pasta or a pizza kit for dinner while watching cartoons (simpsons, family guy, etc)

-reading (The Emperor's Children by Claire Messud)

-asleep by 11:30

Flight of the Conchords in Austin, TX for SXSW 2006

2009-09-23T19:46:00.001-07:00

Austin Celebrity Sighting!

2009-09-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

Zach and I saw Matthew McConaughey today while taking our dog through the dog park down at Auditorium Shores. I always knew he was an Austin figure, having been a UT student when he was cast in his first movie: Dazed and Confused. Usually he's sighted at UT football games, flashing the longhorn sign and looking generally laid back.

Today, Zach and I were winding around Town Lake with our Anna dog, working our way to the 1st Street bridge when Anna wandered toward this little girl about toddler age walking barefoot next to two men. As the little girl bounded toward Anna, our exceptionally ferocious dog sidled away and as one of the men looked up I thought *gasp* thats Wooderson and his daughter! I said "Hi" and he said "Hi" and Zach, still not realizing this was Matthew McConaughey said, "She's terrified of children" to which McConaughey chuckled and kept walking. Once I alerted Zach to who he was just talking to, Zach was like "Oh yeahhh.." I was like, "You just made Matthew McConuaghey laugh." And he replied, "I'm a funny guy."

some firsts

2009-08-27T18:23:00.001-07:00

When it takes two months to post, a list becomes inevitable. Here are some firsts for me in this summer:

*Tubing/Canoeing: I did some tubing on the Comal river in New Braunfels and some canoeing on the King's River in Arkansas. Both were fun in different ways. I like the lazy luxury of tubing and the outdoorsy exercise of canoeing. Oh and beer+sun+river=pure delight.

*I gave my first power point presentation. Sure it was given to two people, but I'll treasure it always. My new job (see: www.1hourforkids.org) at United Way involves a lot of volunteer recruitment so I have to learn to do some shmoozing, some dog and pony showing, and some business carding. Oh and I have business cards now, that's also a first.

*I bought my first Mac. I had no alliances in the PC or Mac dispute, until my third PC laptop petered out. I wanted something that would last and Zach's positive experience with his 5 year old Mac (plus the current promotion on UT's campus that involves a free printer AND a free iPod touch with purchase) convinced me.

*I had my first fried avocado and my first piece of chicken-fried bacon.

*I missed my first Lollapalooza in 4 years. I plan to remedy this by volunteering at Austin City Limits in October and then hopefully Fun Fun Fun Fest in November.

*I went to Albuquerque, New Mexico for the first time for my first conference. Americorps requires a pre-service orientation, so I went there for four or five days and allowed myself to be fed and talked to on their dime. ABQ (as it is affectionately called) has one of the highest elevations of any US City and also has pretty mountains.

I had other firsts, but that's all I can think of now. Besides, I have to leave to pick up Zach from his first day of Thursday classes for the new school year!

TXRD

2009-06-01T08:04:00.001-07:00

I recently discovered that I love roller derby. It came about suddenly, completely in response actually to watching Rollergirls. It was a 13 episode doc series on A&E (now on DVD) about the TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls. I picked it up as a lark from the library once I saw that the show was based in Austin. It's interesting because the whole time I lived in Chicago I never did see any roller derby, even after the Chi*Town Sirens volunteered for Intonation and I spoke with the manager multiple times, I still assumed that it wouldn't be my kind of thing.
As Zach and I plowed through the season on Saturday I decided to check out the TXRD website and was delighted to find out that there was a bout on Sunday!
Now I'm not sure exactly what it is I love about this game (and I am keeping in mind what I'm temporarily calling the "frenzy effect"--that I tend to get very excited about something and then approximately a week after said excitement my enthusiasm peters out...since it has only been three days, I'm tentative about calling this my new love), but I do know a couple things that are drawing me in.
1- Names. These girls have fabulous super hero names. Punky Bruiser, Miss Conduct, Holly Peno, Heine Dancer, and Venis Envy are all monikers worth noting. I found it hard not to start trying to develop a name of my own. I like Miss Fit, but I find it a little derivative.
2- The Rollergirls show really emphasizes the sisterhood aspect. These are badass girls and they all seem to unite in the fact that they a)don't identify with girly girls and b)are unsatisfied with working a regular job and just going home afterwords to be regular.
3- The spectacle. Now I've never liked professional wrestling, but I'm willing to acknowledge there are similar dramatic elements between that and roller derby. There is fighting and screaming but for some reason, I guess because it's in pursuit of an unfixed victory, I see it as a necessary element.
Last night Zach and I went to the Convention center, bought some $5 beers and settled in to watch the Rhinestone Cowgirls take on the Putas Del Fuego. The Cowgirls came out in cowboy hats, shooting toy guns and the Putas came out in sombreros, many shaking maracas. When penalties were issued, a wheel was spun to decide if the offender and the victim had to arm wrestle, tug of war, race, or pillow fight. Prior to, and during half-time there's live music. Oh and one of the helpful things is that there were two announcers helping the audience keep track of the points and penalties. They are a very necessary component because the action is roller skate fast. The Putas (the team Zach and I were rooting for) lost miserably but they had so much spirit (read: readiness to fight) that they were crazy entertaining.
So if the "frenzy effect" doesn't wear off and I keep track of my calendar, I may be going again in July to see the Hellcats take on the Holy Rollers.

festival season

2009-05-02T16:00:00.000-07:00

I remember the thrill that came with warm weather in Chicago. It seemed that, starting around June, there would be some sort of neighborhood festival every weekend. I used to go to Market Days, Wicker Park festival, Lakeview art festival, 57th Street Art Fair, Printer's Row Book Fair, the outdoor films in Grant Park, Lollapalooza and anything else I stumbled across while walking to and from public transportation. So, you can imagine my glee when I realized that festival season has already started here.
Last weekend was Eeyore's Birthday and this weekend is the Pecan Street festival. I just got back with some incense, handmade soap, and locally-produced honey in my purse. It seems I'm pretty willing to go hippie when it comes to street fairs. The Pecan Street festival is an arts and crafts fair with live music and reasonably-priced cans of beer. Now, I won't give high marks to the arts and crafts present (it's like any other "art" fair in that there's only a few tents that have really impressive work to show) but I enjoyed walking around browsing with a TECATE in hand.

Eeyore's Part II

2009-04-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

Eeyore's Birthday was pretty much exactly as described on the wikipedia page. But first, and most fabulous of all, I had my first confirmed Leslie siting. I was pretty sure I saw him at SXSW, but didn't have any sources to back me up. Yesterday, my friends confirmed that I was, in fact seeing, Austin's favorite mayoral candidate. Leslie has had three official bids for mayor, his most successful run in 2000 when he received almost 8% of the vote. He is so popular that you can now buy a magnet with his likeness here in Austin that comes with interchangeable magnetic outfits. He's known for flashing his thong at public events and generally bringing the party.

Anyway, back to Eeyore's. My first ten minutes set the tone. While waiting in line for drink tickets I stood behind two people who were smoking a joint. Then, two minutes later at the costume contest an old woman got on stage, wearing rabbit ears, a skirt and her boobs painted like Easter eggs tossed out condoms from her Easter basket. There was a lot of hula-hooping, a May pole, a large crowd of people attempting to double dutch, and people of unknown qualifications that had set up "free body painting" areas. It was pretty fabulous for an event just minutes from downtown.

When I first heard of Eeyore's birthday I was pretty sure it would be little kids, mostly lame games, and a lot of store-bought Winnie the Pooh costumes. There were a lot of kids, but they were the breed of hippie kids that I like. Oh and the costumes were amazing. Here's one of my favorites:

Eeyore's Birthday

2009-04-24T17:01:00.000-07:00

Reason #15763 you should live in Austin:

(from wikipedia) Eeyore's Birthday Party is a day-long festival taking place annually in Austin, Texas since 1963. It typically occurs on the last Saturday of April in Austin's Pease Park.^[1] It includes live music, food and drink vending which benefit local non-profit organizations, attendees in colorful costumes, and very large drum circles. Although frequented by children and families, with specific events presented for them by the event organizers, Eeyore's Birthday Party is also known for its high incidence of recreational drug use.

It's happening tomorrow. I'll let you all know how it goes!

April Showers of Shows

2009-04-18T19:53:00.000-07:00

Since SXSW I've been jonesing for more music and luckily spring time in Austin brings a lot of opportunity for music.

What I'm missing:

Austin Reggae Fest was today. Zach and I drove by it and saw white folk in droves wearing everything green, black, yellow, and red that they found in their closet. While the festival is cool in theory, and I'm a little tempted to see the one and only Skatalites, it looked a little douchapalooza to me. There seemed to be too many dudes wearing knitted hats.

May 7th: Flight of the Conchords. This broke my heart. Tickets went on sale back in February and I mistakenly waited a whole 10 minutes before trying to buy them. They sold out so fast that people were immediately on craigslist offering to pay $100 and up for two seats.

What I'm hoping to not miss:

Right now my Google calendar shows two events for the next three weeks: Lucero and Thao Nguyen with the Get Down Stay Down. These are both bands that I saw at SXSW, but at a festival you only get teased for 25 minutes...theres no encore and theres no leeway for which songs and how long they go. Thao is this Thursday, April 23rd and I'm desperately hoping that I can get myself together enough to go. This song won't leave my head and I'm convinced I'll just have to see it live again before I can rest. Then, a few weeks later is Lucero. After SXSW I bought Zach this documentary called Dreaming in America and it endeared me to Lucero in a whole new way. It's a good movie because it shows how they're successful by most peoples' standards (they've put out half a dozen albums and are able to survive on their music alone) but that with this success comes a back-breaking tour schedule that puts them on the road constantly (about 200 shows a year). Zach and I have talked about seeing this show to celebrate our 8-year anniversary. Yes, my readers, you all are really that old now.

SXSW Recap

2009-03-22T18:32:00.000-07:00

The pictures are on facebook, so I'll save you all the nonsense of posting them here. Instead, I'll recommend bands that I saw and enjoyed (with small teasers next to them in case you're the type to be interested in finding new music):

Lucero
Emily gave me and Zach the heads up on this band years ago. If you like alt country with a bluesy quality you'll like this band from Tennessee.

Thao Nguyen and the Get Down Stay Down
I walked in late on this set, but this chick and her band are so wonderfully poppy. It's a little like Cibo Matto I think.

My Jerusalem
This New Orleans band put on an impressive show (which according to some googling was their first live performance), but I'm not sure their music would be as good without the live element. They were very rock and roll (plus effects pedals, a trumpet, a violinist (formerly from The Polyphonic Spree), and a man who only plays the tambourine). I found the lead singer describing the music online as varied "from acoustic to trashrock" but I'd say a close fit is The Arcade Fire. Their album was just released; I think they might become big.

The Bird And The Bee
This band is becoming pretty well known. I suggest just watching this video and this one. You'll fall in love. They remind me of Air and Nellie McKay if they combined. Also, they put on a beautifully choreographed and costumed live show (again, see my facebook pictures linked above).

The Thermals
Now, I'll admit that I saw them twice without really seeing them (once I caught halfway through and the second time I was pretty focused on drinking) but they're good, solid indie rock and according to wikipedia they've been working hard together since 2002. They're a Sub Pop artist and they stay true to the good old fashioned grunge quality you'd expect.

The Warlocks
I thought this was a very fascinating band. First off, they're the only band I saw that added a video element to their show. They projected carefully-selected old, bizarre film footage during each song on the tent above them. Wikipedia tells me they're defined as neo-psychedelia, but I see them as having enough rock to put them in the same arena with what I enjoy about Sonic Youth. You can see a video here (they're a little older now).

Heartless Bastards
Garage rock. I remember liking them when I saw them on the first day, but now, 5 days later, I can't remember anything stand out about it. It's possible that's because I was behind about 100 people and couldn't see them.

Shilpa Ray and Her Happy Hookers
There was a Brooklyn Vegan show my first day at my volunteer spot (Club De Ville) and this was one of the most exciting bands that night. The lead singer has a lot of energy and I tend to rally behind any lady that can control an audience. I found this description at rcdlbl.com: grinding
blues, sleazy jazz, and disturbing rock tied together with pop and punk sensibilities; the result sounding something like a vulgar Ella Fitzgerald crooning in front of a wall of distortion and thunderous, pounding rhythms. I don't imagine I could say it better than that.

Blind Pilot
A Portland indie folky band that I may be looking into after seeing them at Club De Ville. They gave an NPR interview where they said, while working on their debut album they were, "listening to a whole lot of Neutral Milk Hotel and Joanna Newsom." Yes.

Ponytail
A Baltimore art rock band that won me over completely when they busted a pinata mid-show and threw out the candy. The lead singer tends to emit strange noises from her throat (think Bjork-y) throughout the fierce experimental music. Their first couple songs didn't get me, but after they played for a while I was kind of getting into it. They were very energetic; Pitchfork calls their performances like a "sugar rush." The crowd went nuts for it and it seemed like the pavement became a trampoline. I'm usually only into music with lyrics, but I couldn't deny the frenzy that was Ponytail.

So there you go, get to youtubing/googling. I've always wanted my friends to hip me to new music and I've been lucky to have a lot of friends with amazing taste. Hopefully, one of these bands will return the favor to one of you.

SXSW!

2009-03-17T16:01:00.001-07:00

Back in Chicago I learned this trick to get into expensive festivals for free: vol-un-teer.

Benefits:
1) You always get a t-shirt.
2) You always get in free.

Usually you need to get on the event website several months in advance, but after turning over your contact info you can just sit around until the month before when they get in touch with you. I have used this trick to get into Lollapalooza 2005-2008 and this year I'm using it to get into South By Southwest here in Austin. I picked up my gear today (TWO t-shirts and a fancy music badge) to get me in to see any of the 1,800 artists I want.

Pitfalls:
1) You will always have to work in a location that keeps you from seeing some of the bands you want. Usually the event staff will let you pick an area you want to work, but inevitably you will end up missing out on somebody somewhere.
2) Often you have to do labor that will leave you pretty exhausted and/or sunburned at the end of the day.

At Lollapalooza, Zach and I usually do a lot of walking and a lot of time in the August heat. But Lolla requires zero commitment prior to the event and the shifts are usually only 4 hours. This SXSW volunteer gig is definitely more demanding than Lollapalooza (it has required one orientation, one mandatory evening of grunt work prior and then three nights of long 6pm-2am shifts during the festival). However, the value of this SXSW music badge that I get is $695 so it's hard to complain too much about the demands. Also, a lot of the bands play for free during the day to get maximum exposure so I'll be seeing mucho music anyway. I'll be working at Club de Ville and it sounds like my biggest duty will be to lug equipment on and off stage in between sets. I'll let you know how it goes and try to keep track of everybody I get to see this week.

What I Could Have Been (a potential two part series)

2009-03-04T05:38:00.001-08:00

So I was watching Biggest Loser last night (big ups...I don't care if only fat people watch you...I will stay true for your inspirational triumphs) and I got an idea for a post. See, the chubbos (as I affectionately call them) were at a food bank and it reminded me, hey I almost worked at a food bank. Then I thought of all the things I've almost done and it seemed worth listing. Below is a list of many of the professions that I almost tapdanced my way into.

1- Volunteer Coordinator at a food bank in Chicago - I went through two interviews there. The second one involved a tour where I was asked if I was passionate about feeding the hungry. I, of course, said that I was, but I think it was apparent that it was a new passion pretty relative to the fact that I had an interview. It's okay. It was in an industrial area and the commute involved a train and a bus and took over an hour.

2 - A part-time administrative assistant in the Alumni department at DePaul in downtown Chicago. The guy that interviewed me was very aggressive. When I told him my biggest weakness he said, "Well that's not really a weakness, is it?" Of course not! You're never supposed to give an actual weakness! Then he asked me if I were to answer the phone right now for them, how would I do it? I awkwardly stumbled through something, realizing that it takes zero skill and would be no indicator of how good I would be at the position. I think my distaste for him showed.

3 - Some sort of assistant at Bacon's Information - On the way to the interview I get North and South Michigan Ave. mixed up. I have to walk five very long blocks. I show up sweaty and frazzled. They give me an editing test. There are supposed to be 12 errors and I can only find 10. I am doomed.

4- Program Manager for Entrepreneur's Foundation in Austin - It's my first interview in Austin. I show up and immediately they ask, "How do you understand our business model and how would you describe it?" Then, "Explain our Equity model." My hour on the website did not prepare me for this. I blow it and do not get a second interview.

5 - Sales Assistant at I.B. Nuts and Fruit Too - I thought I'd jump back to part-time jobs in Columbia, MO while I was in college. Two women ask me about my interest in making deliveries. I don't remember much else other than being a little relieved that I don't have to tell people that I work at a place called "I.B. Nuts."

6- Sales Assistant at the Disney Store - Creepy. Me, Emily, and six other people sit in a circle. We all talk about our favorite Disney characters. They tell us that they never schedule anyone for longer than four hour shifts because the amount of enthusiasm they expect cannot be maintained for longer than that. We meet a zombie that works there and talks about how he takes advantage of the Disney World trip every year and loves it enough to accept $6.25/hour. Emily and I shudder.

7- Assistant Program Manager at a local Austin nonprofit - I'm leaving out the name because this happened within the past three months and kind of broke my heart. I have a long, passionate phone interview that happens to take place until 10 pm at night. This woman rescheduled because I had been in Oklahoma when she initially called. We gab about the rewards of nonprofit work, our enthusiasm for working with youth, our experiences in cold weather cities. She dazzles me with her respect for my level of education and intellect. I get a second interview. I go in and talk with the staff. They are all equally respectful. Weeks later I get the best rejection letter I've ever gotten, assuring me that they expect great things in my future and that she looks forward to our paths crossing and hearing about my future successes. I resist the urge to die a little inside.

8 - Admissions position at a college - I'm not naming the school for similar reasons to #7. Needless to say, I interviewed for this job twice in three months. The first time I meet a committee, they go around the table and take turns asking me questions, one after the other. I don't get the position, even though this position is remarkably similar to the one I had in Columbia, MO. Then, the position is open again a month later. I apply again. They call me in for an interview, again. I think, wow they must want to hire me. I meet a similar committee. They ask me the exact same questions as the first committee. I still do not get the job.

9 - Editorial positon at a PR company - They tell me that they can offer approx. 30 hours now, but that it may decrease as the work diminishes. They tell me they can't provide benefits. They tell me it will involve a lot of data entry. I eagerly tell them I like data entry, but am obviously discouraged by the lack of hours and benefits. I don't really like data entry. Nobody likes data entry. The woman basically tells me how terrible the job will be and that I am overqualified. I don't get the job.

This is just a smattering of the interviews I have had. I am suddenly concerned that future employers will find this and think I'm pathetic. I am not. I am just open to many exciting career opportunities. I am still looking for the right fit. I believe I have learned from these interviews and each one has made me a more composed, mature individual. Oh and I love data entry.

It begins...

2009-03-01T15:13:00.000-08:00

I bought boots! I just won these Lucchese vintage 70s leather cowboy boots off ebay for $39 ($50 with shipping). This is a huge discount for shoes that tend to cost anywhere from $200-$300 at stores here. I'm pretty excited. It seems everybody in Austin has dress-up boots (what Converse are to Chicago hipsters are what boots are to 20-something Austinites). It's a trend I like to call western chic. I was highly influenced by the fad (which probably can't be called a fad as it has existed for decades) and couldn't resist any longer. I'm already working my head through the skirts and jeans I can wear with them.
This seems to be a sign that I've assimilated. So, for all you doubters out there that are pretty sure that you would never take to Texas....give it about 5 months.

Newflower Market

2009-02-21T13:37:00.000-08:00

If you can't get excited about grocery stores you might not want to read this post. However, before you make up your mind, let me provide you with some teasers about Newflower Market:

- They use both sides of the receipt paper to print your receipt.
- They give you 10 cents off for every reusable bag you bring.
- This week I got a 5 lb bag of potatoes on sale for .99 cents.

Now, if none of those three things did anything for your excitement level, please proceed to your next blog (I suggest this one).

Newflower Market is brand new to Austin. I saw a little story about it on the news and was instantly intrigued. I'm always interested in buying locally grown food, but I hate spending more money on something that I can get for generic prices at a large chain. Lately, Zach and I have been spending beaucoup money at HEB, more than we have ever spent on groceries before. So when I went to the Newflower website and saw their motto: "Better-than-supermarket quality at better-than-supermarket prices" I decided to go check it out.
Oh. god. I am only sorry for my readers that don't live in Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, or Texas. There are similarities between it and other stores. It's sort of like Trader Joes, but their sales are more drool-worthy. The original owners of Wild Oats organic grocery chain (now owned by the unstoppable Whole Foods) opened these up and they are promising 50 stores 5 years from now. The company's farmer's market format is based on Henry's Market in California which makes it a little less glitzy than a Whole Foods and you feel more like you're just going to a grocery store, not a food museum.

More drool-worthy sales:

broccoli: 47 cents/lb
whole raw almonds: 2.99/lb
hummus: 3.26/lb
hot house tomatoes: I got two big tomaters for 41 cents
extra lean ground beef: 1.99/lb

What it comes down to is that I got a week's worth of groceries for $26. Zach and I have lately been spending over three times that at HEB. Oh and what sealed it: my current fav cheap red wine: Barefoot Cabernet Sauvignon was on sale for only $4.99 a bottle. It took a lot of strength not to buy a case.

Rachel Recommends: The Library

2009-02-15T14:33:00.000-08:00

This post is going to be the first in a "Rachel Recommends" series that will promote free activities as opposed to spending lots of money for fun (although if you are going to spend money, I recommend Coraline in 3D). This first post will whet your free whistle with an activity that you can find in any city near you: the library. My readers familiar with the Columbia Public Library are already fans of this mecca of sharing, but to those of you that don't know: you can get movies at the library. Good movies. I remember as a kid it seemed that all libraries had were educational films about the railroad and former presidents, but in Columbia, MO I discovered that there are some hip alternatives to checking out videos on James Monroe. In Columbia, not only was their music selection vast, but they had a DVD selection to make any movie bum quiver. You could find cult TV shows like Freaks and Geeks and The Office (the BBC version ) or fab documentaries (oh god the 7Up series). At the Austin Public Library I have gobbled up even more surprising finds: dvds that have no educational or cult value at all. There are a lot of movies and shows that I've wanted to see over the years, but I wasn't optimistic enough about them to invest money in obtaining them. The library has solved this problem for me and because of this Zach and I have spent zero money on movie rentals since we've moved here. For example, my trip to the library today produced: a season of Garfield and Friends (unlike Columbia, in Austin you can check out an entire season and it only counts as one item), The Aristocrats, Jesus is Magic, and George Romero's Diary of the Dead. All of these were free. All of them are mine for 7 days (unless I want to renew, which I can one time).
So please love the library. It is in your best interest. I know I do. And so does she.

And now I wanna be your dog

2009-02-11T10:27:00.000-08:00

For about a month now Zach and I have been dog owners. This means that:
1) I have taken approximately 20 pictures of the dog. (Only half of which are objectively cute)
2) There is dog hair present in every room on every floor.
3) I have discovered what a pleasant place Austin is for dogs.

First of all, there is this: http://www.austinspetdirectory.com/ (thanks Dana). There are over a dozen dog parks and seven dog bakeries. We've only hit up one dog park but we go there every weekend. It has a nice ratio of dogs to water/trees.
I've never been a dog owner before. My family always preferred the low-maintenance cat lifestyle. Whiskers, Maya, Squeakers, and Luna were/are all fabulous representatives of the cat species. I have NOT and will never denounce cats. I think sometimes people like to section themselves off into being either a dog or cat person. But comparing the two animals isn't fair. Though they are both common pets, they are completely different beings. I like that most cats aren't as destructive as dogs. I like that they can sleep comfortably next to you and rarely smell bad. I like that I can take a dog outdoors to run and play. I like that if I raise my voice to a high-pitched squeal a dog will instantly get excited, even though it has no idea what is about to happen.
Anyway, meet Anna:

She's about 11 months old and appears to be some sort of retriever mix. Zach's mom rescued her back in October from the side of a road in Arkansas. Her and her sister were only 6 pounds and covered with mange. Zach's mom did all of the hard work in raising her and nursing her back to health. Now she's a happy 30 lb. city dog (the pictures tend to make her look large, but actually she only comes up to our knees). She loves to eat bones and tear apart her toys like all dogs, but due to her tough life as a puppy she's not quite familiar with playing. She won't do tug of war (if we try to grab something from her she surrenders it immediately) and when we throw something she just looks at it. Also, she's an affection addict. If you're petting her, expect to be there for a while. If you stop she will promptly put her paw on your leg/arm and look at you sadly. Only when she's decided she's had enough will she leave your side.
So yes, now I'm rambling about my dog. It's happened to me. I'm one of those people. But it is important to note that:
1) I have not, nor plan to buy any clothes for my dog.
2) You will not receive emails, cards, or letters with Anna's name signed to the bottom.
3) If you call me you will not have to talk to Anna and I will not make Anna say hello.

Live Well, Dream Small (Job search: month 5)

2009-01-25T11:04:00.000-08:00

Texas unemployment rate shoots up to 6 percent

AUSTIN — The Texas unemployment rate jumped to 6.0 percent in December and the state lost jobs for the third time in four months, the Texas Workforce Commission said Friday.

The unemployment rate was a sharp jump from 5.7 percent in November and 4.2 percent a year ago. It was the first time the state's jobless rate hit 6 percent since 2004, said commission labor representative Ronny Congleton.

The state lost 25,700 nonagricultural jobs in December, the second consecutive monthly drop after the commission revised November figures from a gain of 7,300 jobs to a loss of 11,300. The monthly job loss in September was the first in more than a year, according to the commission.

"Our state's economy has been fairly resilient during these months of economic uncertainty, but the national economic storm has reached Texas," commission chairman Tom Pauken said. "The challenge we face now is to minimize the impact of the national trends by continuing to promote our strong business climate and address the skills needs of Texas employers."

The job losses hit nearly every sector, with the biggest drops coming in trade, transportation and utilities (8,100 jobs) and manufacturing (8,000). The falling prices of oil and natural gas appeared to hit natural resources and mining, which lost 5,100 jobs. Construction dropped 3,300 jobs.

The only sector to gain jobs was leisure and hospitality, with a jump of 3,800. The catchall category — other services — gained 1,600 jobs.

Despite the widespread job losses, Texas still compared favorably to the national numbers. The unemployment rate remained below the U.S. average of 7.2 percent. According to commission figures, Texas has a net gain of 153,600 jobs over the past year compared with losses of 2.6 million jobs nationwide.

"Our state leaders have laid a strong foundation for Texas as a business-friendly state with low taxes and less regulation, and that foundation will be crucial in the months ahead," said Andres Alcantar, the commission's public representative.

The commission estimated that 711,800 people were actively looking for work in December, up from 676,000 in November.

Unemployment rates are adjusted for seasonal trends in hiring and firing, which most economists believe gives a better picture of the job market.

Without the seasonal adjustment, the Texas unemployment rate rose to 5.7 percent in December from 5.6 percent in November and 4.3 percent a year ago.

Following are the preliminary December jobless rates for local areas in Texas, with revised November numbers in parentheses. The local figures are not seasonally adjusted.

Austin-Round Rock 5.2 (5.0)

___

January 23, 2009 - 11:46 a.m. Copyright 2009, The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP Online news report may not be published, broadcast or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.

Damn. Austin is a city where 36% of the people have a Bachelor's degree or higher. A little quick math says that if roughly 712,000 people are looking for work that about 256,000 of them have college degrees. That said, it's time for America's brightest to dream small. Yesterday I had lunch with my friend Dana and we talked at length about how hard it is to find a job that harnesses your potential. When I look for work now, I apply for entry-level positions that almost always pay less than 30,000. These openings are mostly clerical positions that only "prefer" a degree. Now I know that it's possible that when I don't get these jobs it's not necessarily because there's something wrong with my resume. It means that one of the other 250,000 people that applied "fit their needs" a little better. My generation seems to be the generation of dreaming big what with our Obamarama and our iPods, but with this economy it's not unusual to see people like me with advanced degrees earning $8.25/hour working low stakes part-time jobs. While jobs like this can be fulfilling, it's unlikely that they lead to careers. Perhaps all of this strife will lead to a surging force of entrepreneurs. Maybe people with greater aspirations than myself will turn this economy around through their own gumption and innovative spirit. But it's hard not to feel that the odds are stacked against you when the competition is in the hundreds of thousands.

Visible City

2009-01-11T19:43:00.000-08:00

I don't really have anything to say so I went to Austinist and found links to some great pictures of my city of almost exactly 5 months.

My current favorite yarn store in Austin (Hill Country Weavers):

Went to a UT basketball game yesterday. It was a little like this. Very fun, very Texas.

Some Thoughts on 2008

2009-01-01T08:34:00.000-08:00

It's 2009. Zach and I celebrated New Years Eve with the following:

1) Gin + tonic + $4 champagne.

2) Buffalo wings from Wing Zone.

3) Getting hopelessly lost for an hour in the hills of Austin in order to skirt First Night going on downtown.

We comforted ourselves from our venture with season one of 30 Rock on dvd and five minutes of New Years Rockin' Eve in which Dick Clark reminded us all that he had been victim to a stroke in 2004. Thank you Mr. Clark for making my last moments of 2008 incredibly depressing with your countdown.
I'd say, all in all, it was fun. I think it was my first party-free year in a long time. I've found that moving to a new city with only a handful of work friends will make one a hermit. But it does wonders for your overall appreciation for all things comfy. I was in a sweatshirt and slippers by 11 and asleep before 1 a.m. I refuse to think that this tame start reveals anything about my upcoming year.

Poorhouse: Sweet, Sweet Home

2008-12-17T19:04:00.000-08:00

So this week I realized that Austin has really started to feel like home. I only use Google maps about once a week now and I can easily get to and from most places without using my whole brain. I also have a routine that gets me out of my apartment every day. I work at a Boys and Girls Club at a middle school about 5 miles from me. It's a pretty great job. I coordinate art activities for the after school program. This means that every day I'm doing something with markers or colored paper. The down side, like all of the nonprofit work I've been involved with in the past, is that it doesn't pay much. I only work part-time and I make just enough to pay rent and utilities every month.
I don't expect I'll ever make a lot of money. I also recognize that this is completely my fault. When I changed my major to English, went to graduate school for Humanities, and set my sights on jobs related to youth and education I pretty much signed my life away to the clearance rack and used cars. All of that said, I know myself. I know that I would rather make my case for the measly job that helps people than the fancy job that bought me a Wii. Is it liberal guilt? Am I in love with being a martyr? Does my snobbery give me an excuse to underachieve? Probably. But I feel good about helping people and I don't like dressing up. I am still looking for full-time work, but I recognize now that it may take a while. I admit to applying for stiff business-casual jobs the past few months, but I've always been a little relieved when I didn't get them. I'm picky, but I'm hoping that means that eventually I'll be very, very happy.

Well I don't play disc golf but...

2008-12-05T07:28:00.000-08:00

I was browsing youtube for a good movie about Austin, Texas and I found it through TurnHere Films. This little 5+ minute movie gives a good sense of what I like about Austin (minus the disc golf phenomenon that turns up around the 2 minute mark).

Extra, Extra!

2008-11-16T13:12:00.001-08:00

After I posted my last blog post, I decided that I would "volunteer" to be an extra on Friday Night Lights because:
1) I didn't have anything else to do on that day.
2) I don't see myself ever going to UT Stadium for any other reason.
3) I'm one of those special features nerds that likes to find out how shows/movies are made and what better way then to go to a taping myself?
The people that chose to be paid extras had to get there at 9am, but I rolled in around 3pm. The extra's duty on this day's taping was to be a football fan in the stands of the Texas High School State Championship (the final episode of the third season of Friday Night Lights). When I showed up I was already wearing the right color to be a Dylan Panther fan, so they just gave me the black t-shirt (pictured above) in case they wanted us to switch sides and root for the other team and a raffle ticket for the prize drawings they did throughout the day. The wardrobe lady offered me a bright yellow trucker hat to complete the blue and yellow colors of Dylan team, but I declined. She suggested that the hat would make me "pop."
I made my way to the stands. It was freezing cold (for Texas) and many people had blankets. I assume these were the people that showed up early in the morning to earn their $56 for the day. I sat towards the front and, in the two hours I spent there, got to see one scene being filmed. I was lucky that it was a dramatic scene. **Spoiler Alert** It was the end of the first half of the game. The Dylan team is losing. One of the players gets hurt. Anyway, they filmed this about four times and the extras all had to clap, boo, and clap (in that order). Then, after the cast left the field to take a break, they packed all of us into one section of the stadium and had us do the same type clap-boo sequence so that they could copy and paste our section throughout the stadium in editing to make it look like the stands were full of people. During this time, to keep us happy, they raffled prizes and had some of the actors throw free t-shirts into the stands. The Friday Night Lights shirt you see above was thrown at me (quite literally--it hit me directly in the face).
After they dismissed everyone for break at a little after 5pm I took off. The nighttime promised to be even colder and I had enough swag to feel satisfied with my experience.
So...watch the season finale. I'll be sitting towards the front in a long sleeve blue shirt. I expect I'll also be attending the Emmy Awards this year for "Best Clap, Boo, Clap Acting."

Should I do this?

2008-11-11T18:34:00.000-08:00

I saw this on craigslist today. I love the show, but it's a BIG time commitment. What do you think folks, should I sign up?

Season Finale - FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS!
Reply to: (see message body)
Date: 2008-11-11, 5:38PM

The critically acclaimed DirecTV/NBC television series “Friday Night Lights” is seeking PAID Extras for our FINAL football game of Season 3. We are wrapping up our third season of filming and this will be the last chance this year to be an extra on our show.
We will be filming at the University of Texas Stadium – 2100 San Jacinto Blvd., Austin, TX 78712 and are looking for local residents to work as football FAN Extras in the stands. Filming will take place on Saturday 11/15/08. Tentative start time will be approx. 9:00am and all paid extras will need to be available for 12-14 hours (may be less, but be prepared for a long day/night).
We are currently booking interested local talent, aspiring actors and those just looking for an interesting new experience or something fun to do on the weekend. Age range for extras is 6 years and older. All applicants MUST be US citizens and have valid photo ID and social security cards. NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY!!!!
Pay rate is $56.00 for an 8 hour day (guaranteed) and time and 1/2 for everything after 8 hours. Extras will receive a check in the mail approx. two weeks after they work
In order to be booked for paid extra work on 11/15/08, either send us an email with each participants name, contact number and age to: fnl_extras@yahoo.com or call: 512-707-7934. (please do NOT do both!)
If you would like to participate in our final day of filming but can not stay all day, we are also inviting the general public to come out between 1:00pm and 10:00pm as VOLUNTEERS and stay as long as they can. Volunteers will not be paid, but can arrive and leave whenever they choose. If you would like to volunteer, simply show up at UT Stadium any time between 1:00pm and 10:00pm on Saturday 11/15/08 wearing blue & black weather appropriate clothing (stay warm!).
FREE food will be provided throughout the day! Prizes and giveaways will be randomly distributed throughout the day!

Contact: Tina Kerr – Extras Casting Director, ON LOCATION CASTING
“Friday Night Lights”
(512) 707-7934

* Location: UT Stadium
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $56/8hrs

Original URL:http://austin.craigslist.org/tlg/915282400.html

Changing Writing About Change

2008-11-09T11:11:00.000-08:00

So after Obama was elected I, like many other bloggers I'm sure, wanted to write something about it. It's rare that something so culturally and politically significant happens and even rarer when one event comprises both. But it's been hard to find anything to say that hasn't already been said better.
I guess what I've been thinking about most beyond the event itself is the reaction to the event. My first response (of course) was to link the cheering and exuberance to a movie I love: Newsies. You know that scene where Christian Bale's character comes out after his meeting with the newspaper bigwigs? He whispers the results into a little boy's ear and the little boy yells to the crowd, "We beat 'em!" (the moment happens around 8:20) I've always liked underdog movies, but this one was always especially poignant for me because it was a kid's story about kids making a difference. In the scene where they announce their victory I felt some of the same stirrings of emotion I felt times one hundred on election night. For me, and thousands of other kids, Obama's win felt like victory. Judith Warner addresses this winning feeling very well in her NYT article: "Tears to Remember."
What was also winning was Obama's speech. In her article, Warner mentions the moment when he promised, "To those who would tear the world down: we will defeat you. This is our moment. This is our time." One thing that is significant about this statement is that beyond all the terrorists hiding in caves that this may reference, what it also calls to is the way in which the cynicism and hate in our very own country was tearing the world down. By saying that this is "our moment" Obama seems to suggest to his supporters that by being in his change corner we are now a part of a hope army that is unafraid to have sentimental feelings about our country, feelings that can overthrow our disappointment make our nation what we've always wanted it to be.
These feelings are remarkable for my generation. I was born just after Reagan and have lived only in a Bush-Clinton-Bush world. This has been a world of strategically false politics and scandals that have only further revealed the cynicism of the people in power. Therefore my entire life it has been not only completely acceptable to hate our presidents, but hip.
Warner includes a paraphrase of Wordsworth in her article (poetry he wrote about the French Revolution) that I will put in full here:
"Bliss was it that dawn to be alive / But to be young was very heaven."
According to some recent data, Obama outpolled McCain 66% to 32% with voters under 30. The majority of my friends (and even my dad) canvassed, made phone calls, and donated money to the Obama campain. The fact that all of this seemed to really work increased our faith in Obama and our faith in his politics. The system never seemed to work before (see Gore, Kerry) but his system did. This makes being young heaven right now. Late Generation X'ers were known to be sarcastic and world-weary by age 13, but now all of this angst has been revealed as frustration as opposed to cynicism. When young people the world over raised their fists on November 4th and yelled "We beat 'em!" it was with a sincerity and optimism that has not, in our lifetime, ever connected up with (of all things) politics. The world got us wrong. Obama is our president. And now, this is our moment. This is our time.

Austin Farmer's Market

2008-11-08T10:08:00.000-08:00

I went to the Austin farmer's market this morning. There's something about a farmer's market that always gets me going. I think part of it is the thrill of handing money directly to the person that created your goods. It feels old timey and at the same time delightfully progressive. (The formula seems to work something like hippies+dogs+babies+vegetables=progressive) I purchased a head of broccoli, a tomato, and a small bottle of honey.
Oh and this food talk reminds me, here's some recent delicious cooking projects I've completed lately:

Homemade Spaghetti Sauce and Meatballs
Crockpot Barbecue Chicken

WWII

2008-10-24T09:41:00.000-07:00

My apartment has always had roaches. Usually, with the discovery of insect invaders comes guilt, but we have had roaches since day one. Before we had food anywhere near our kitchen we had roaches waiting to greet us in cupboards, on the floor, and in the sink. First I bought traps, then my mom sent this device we plugged in to our outlets that was supposed to repel them electronically through your wiring (somehow). Neither of these things fixed our bug problem. The other day I got a spray that kills them instantly so, while it doesn't seem to be preventative, I get to watch them die in seconds...which honestly does help a little with my aggression and frustration.
At our old apartment we had a 2% bug rate, that is we would see the occasional spider, but we could leave our kitchen floor and counter covered in crumbs and see no infestation of any kind. I've been keeping our apartment near spotless, but the roaches refuse to move out and move on.
Texas A&M has a page devoted to roaches and there I found out that:
There are approximately 3,500 species of cockroaches, but only 55 species are known to live in the U.S. In Texas, five cockroach species are really troublesome in homes and other buildings.
The most frightening of these (and I'm sure we've had at least two) is this one:

American Cockroach (Periplaneta americana)

The American cockroach is the largest of the common species, growing to a length of 1 1/2 to 2 inches. It is reddish-brown with a light yellow band around the edge of the head shield. Adults of both sexes have well-developed wings, but seldom fly. They are, however, capable of gliding flights.

This roach can live up to three years. The good news is that it doesn't produce nearly the amount of offspring that the German roach does.

German cockroaches are the most common insect pests for apartment dwellers in Texas.

German cockroach problems may persist despite careful pest control efforts. In some areas, cockroaches have become resistant to particular insecticides. They usually develop their resistance in apartments or commercial establishments where routine insecticide treatments are made over extended periods of time. If you have difficulties controlling German cockroaches, consider changing insecticide products in order to use a different active ingredient.

The German roach can produce 35,000 offspring in a year. If that doesn't make you feel creepy crawly, there's more: German cockroaches usually seek dark shelters near moisture and food, such as in kitchens and bathrooms. However, when populations become large and food scarce, they appear in bedrooms and other less likely places.
So here's my problem now: do I keep them fed in the kitchen so they stay out of my bedroom?

Cooking Country

2008-10-02T16:20:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if it's living in the south or if it's having lots of extra time on my hands, but I've been doing a lot of cooking lately. This is unusual for me because:

1) I don't cook.
2) Nobody in my immediate family has ever cooked in any way since my birth.

Thanks to allrecipes.com and a little help from Zach on some of my endeavors I've made the following items:

- Maple Salmon
- Garlic Chicken (I got this from a Southern Living Cookbook "Easy Weeknight Favorites" cookbook that Zach's mom gave him years ago.)
- Breakfast Tacos (with avocado, sausage, salsa, egg, and cheddar)
- Biscuits and Gravy
- Vegetarian Chili
- Nacho Chicken (courtesy of the Southern Living cookbook, it's chicken with a Dorito crust...surprisingly good)
- Curry Chicken Salad (also courtesy of Southern Living)

Everything has turned out pretty well. I, however, don't think that this makes me a "good cook." People toss that label around too often. I just follow directions well and attend to my food items in a responsible way while they're cooking. Anybody can do that. I think a "good cook" comes from years of practice and innovation. I imagine that I will never be an exceptional cook, but it's a rewarding way to pass the time and (when I feel like doing it) it's pretty fun.

Live Music

2008-09-28T08:54:00.000-07:00

Zach and I went to a Jimmy LaFave+Betty Soo show last night at the Cactus Cafe. Jimmy was one of his dad's best friends so we got the "on the list" treatment that waived the $15 ticket cost. The Cactus Cafe is a premier folk venue in Austin and it lives ON the UT campus. It's kind of amazing. Folk artist royalty like Townes Van Zandt, Ani DiFranco, Guy Clark, Alison Krauss, and Robert Earl Keen have all played there many times throughout their career and in the intimate setting it's got to be amazing every time.
It was a really wonderful night. Jimmy played Bob's "Restless Spirits song" (which is rumored to be about Zach's mom). Nothing beats Bob's version (ask me and I'll email you the mp3) but you can watch a video of Jimmy doing the song in Kansas by following this link. Zach's dad was primarily a song writer and it's always worth it when you hear a Bob Childers song to really pay attention to the lyrics.
So now this blog has basically become about Bob instead of about the Cactus cafe and I want to post a video of the man himself:

Every show Zach goes to people are always walking up to him and telling him how important his dad was to them. Last night was no exception, a woman pulled Zach aside during the break to share a story. Ladies loved Bob. Jimmy shared a Bob-ism last night that I think is worth repeating (uncensored) here. Bob said, there are three types of songs: a toe-tapper, a tear-jerker, and the third (that was left out last night due to "mixed company") the clit-tickler.
I can't wait to see some more shows. The opener, Betty Soo, I liked so much that I bought her cd. It's not all folk music in Austin and I'm looking forward to seeing a dirty rock or hip hop show at Emo's next.

The Seven Letter Word

2008-09-23T14:12:00.000-07:00

The economy. Unemployment rates are staggering. It's not the best time to move to a new city and find a new job, but here's how Texas stacks up in joblessness.

As of August 2008:

Missouri: 6.6%
Illinois: 7.3%
Texas: 5%

Highest?
Michigan: 8.9%

Lowest?
South Dakota: 3.3%

It's probably better that I'm not living in Missouri or Illinois anymore looking for a job. Texas (and Austin especially) is doing better than the country.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Austin Business Journal

Austin’s unemployment rate continued climbing in August as the area struggles with the softening economy.

Unemployment hit 4.5 percent in August, up from 4.4 percent in July, according to the latest figures from the Texas Workforce Commission. A year ago, the unemployment rate was 3.7 percent.

Despite the uptick, Austin is faring better than the rest of Texas and the country. The unemployment rate in Texas stood at 5.1 percent in August, while the U.S. rate hit 6.1 percent.

The number of jobs in the region stood at 776,900 in August, a 2.4 percent increase over August 2007. The government sector led the year-over-year increase with 7,800 positions, followed by leisure and hospitality with 3,100 new positions. The biggest decline was in the manufacturing sector, which lost 2,800 jobs in the last 12 months.

Total nonfarm employment in Texas grew by 6,700 positions in August to 10.6 million jobs.

It's still hard. I'm finding positions I'm interested in everyday, but I imagine myself and 4.5% of the population here all sitting in front of computers and applying for the exact same job and I start to think it's hopeless. I won't reveal too much about my search in case prospective employers are looking at my blog (Hi! I could be working this hard for you!).

Barton Springs!

2008-09-19T14:12:00.000-07:00

I've been managing to get in an hour of exercise 5 days a week for a few weeks now. My apartment complex has a small exercise room and there's just enough equipment in there to keep me from getting burnt out on the routine. Today felt like a pool adventure day (I can't argue with an 86 degree, sunny September day). I went to Barton Springs!

It took about twenty minutes to become my new favorite place in Austin. It costs $3 to get in, but it was well worth it to me once I stepped in that freezing cold water. It literally (and I am using that correctly) took my breath away for a couple minutes. According to the site it is open year round and I promise that if it is warm and you visit we will go there. It's only a 15 minute drive from my apartment and it's very peaceful. If the weather continues I may make this a weekly adventure. There's plenty of room to swim and my exercise routine has quickly been paying off. I've lost 4 pounds in the past month.

Next up in Austin: Fantastic Fest! http://www.fantasticfest.com/ I'm not sure if we'll get to go, but check out this description from the website--

Fantastic Fest is a week-long festival featuring the best in new science-fiction, fantasy, horror, animation, crime, Asian, and all around badass cinema. The event was created to offer exposure to genre films which are often overlooked by the traditional festival circuit.
Fantastic Fest is held each year at one venue, the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema on South Lamar in Austin, Texas. The Alamo Drafthouse was named the best cinema in America by Entertainment Weekly, and features food and drink served to your seat without any disruption of the movie experience.

One Month: Giddy Up

2008-09-11T13:55:00.000-07:00

Well, I went to the Texas DMV today and should be expecting my TX driver's license to arrive in 2-3 weeks. I'm not sure that I'm a Texan yet, but I'm on my way. In one month I've been able to take in a lot of the finer aspects of the state with the simple motto of: "Friendship." Mostly these finer aspects (so far) involve eating establishments.

Amy's Ice Cream: http://www.amysicecreams.com/
The location on South Congress operates out of a walk-up window. I had the Dark Chocolate ice cream. It made my day...and then the leftover ice cream I froze in some Tupperware made the next day as well. Oh and they're open until midnight! How great is that?!

Curra's Grill: http://currasgrill.com/
This place is five minutes from our apartment. The parking lot is always packed, but we went for a late dinner and had no problem getting a table. The atmosphere doesn't compare to Guero's, but I actually thought the food was better. I've become a huge fan of Tacos Al Pastor (marinated pork with pineapple, cilantro, and onion) and the ones here were phenomenal.

There are a lot of actual attractions here that don't involve food that I have to check out ASAP. Number one on my list (while the 90 degree weather holds) is Barton Springs. It's a three-acre natural spring pool that's been dammed up so there's a rock/gravel bottom and the temp stays about 68 degrees year round.

Oh yeah, and no job yet. No matter, I'll just gather some strength and spirit from the state song:

"Texas, Our Texas"

Texas, Our Texas! all hail the mighty State!
Texas, Our Texas! so wonderful so great!
Boldest and grandest, withstanding ev'ry test
O Empire wide and glorious, you stand supremely blest.
(chorus)

Texas, O Texas! your freeborn single star,
Sends out its radiance to nations near and far,
Emblem of Freedom! it set our hearts aglow,
With thoughts of San Jacinto and glorious Alamo.
(chorus)

Texas, dear Texas! from tyrant grip now free,
Shines forth in splendor, your star of destiny!
Mother of heroes, we come your children true,
Proclaiming our allegiance, our faith, our love for you.

Chorus

God bless you Texas! And keep you brave and strong,
That you may grow in power and worth, throughout the ages long.
God bless you Texas! And keep you brave and strong,
That you may grow in power and worth, throughout the ages long.

what you don't know

2008-09-02T10:32:00.000-07:00

There are things that are impossible to know when you move to a city, things that travel guides and web research won't tell you. Here are a few I've discovered in Austin:

1) 10 cents in a parking meter will only get you 6 minutes of time.

2) Gas prices vary wildly from block to block. In the five miles from my apartment to the public library I saw prices ranging from $3.51/gallon to $3.65/gallon. Sometimes the prices even change within the same chain of gas station.

3) When you are trying to get on and off a highway you will notice that you are on a one-way access road for about half a mile before you actually connect with the highway. This is not so much a problem getting on, but if you exit after your actual destination there is no way to double back without driving several blocks out of your way and circling through neighborhoods or finding a bridge to get back to the previous exit.

4) If you need maintenance done on your apartment and you live in my apartment complex, you get a free fetish magazine with service. In my case, I was unable to get into our storage room because the key didn't work. The maintenance man came, fixed it, and when I opened it up I found a copy of "Leg World" on the floor. Either it was slipped under the door by a neighbor and the whole time I was standing there talking to him it was on the ground and I should be very embarrassed OR he provided me with the October 2008 issue free of charge.

Picture Pages

2008-08-20T07:25:00.000-07:00

A lot of the images I have posted so far have been borrowed (well, stolen) from other sites. Here is a more personal glimpse into my experience in Austin.

When my parents visited (casually mentioned in the previous blog) we took them to South Congress. Here are pictures my dad took of this crazy-fun street:

(just so you know my beloved uncommon objects isn't a diamond in the rough--there's a chic folk art store right next door)

Pictures of the apartment are below. Keep in mind we have only been here one week.

(the bedroom has a little porch behind those blinds)

(and this amazing 9 foot by 5 foot walk-in closet)

(this couch and this loveseat could be places for YOU to sleep when you stay here)

And finally, our shower curtain. Let it be known that once you go Texas, you never go back.

Day 4 in Austin

2008-08-14T11:03:00.000-07:00

I'm here! Each day so far has been a Texas-sized adventure.

Day 1- move in: one couch, one loveseat, one futon, one recliner and approximately 75 boxes brought in by two people (with a little help on the couch from my fabulous parents).

Day 2- South Congress:

This store is amazing. It has 30 plus antique booths full of curios. You know how you go to a flea market and spend two hours looking for that one amazing, original piece? Uncommon Objects has that one piece over and over again.

Day 3- I, swear to God, see someone playing with a lasso in the parking lot of our apartment complex.

Day 4- I applied for a job today. I also found free wireless at a place called Texas French Bread. http://www.texasfrenchbread.com/

eats (part one)

2008-07-13T18:32:00.000-07:00

http://www.guerostacobar.com/

We went here on the Saturday after we found our apartment. I had the Tacos Al Pastor and a margarita. They make them with real lime juice, no mix involved, so they're very tart and tasty. The food was delicious and I'm anxious to get back to try their breakfast tacos.

The atmosphere is very hip. It's in the trendy SoCo (South Congress) area near our apartment. (Frommer's identifies it as "the once-derelict stretch of Congress Avenue that...started becoming gentrified--or at least 'trendified.' It's now lined with cutting-edge art galleries, antiques boutiques, and retro clothing shops." Guero's apparently draws a decent amount of local celebrities and politicians too (see what I found on flickr below).

The Clintons like the tacos.

Keanu likes a taco.

Because of this star traffic the restaurant can be a little busy, but we only had to wait 20 minutes on a weekend. Special treats: they make their corn tortillas by hand and, like every other place in Austin that serves alcohol, have live music.

Renting in Austin: Secrets Revealed

2008-07-09T18:33:00.000-07:00

There are several secrets I discovered about Austin while I was there last weekend.

1) Do not try to rent an apartment in the heart of downtown or next to the UT campus. I found this out quickly by searching craigslist:

$1475 / 2br - 2 bedroom 2 blocks from UT law school (north university) (map)

Reply to: mailto:hous-748718934@craigslist.org?subject=$1475%20/%202br%20-%202%20bedroom%202%20blocks%20from%20UT%20law%20school%20%28north%20university%29
Date: 2008-07-09, 4:22PM CDT

PostingID: 748718934

Yipes. It seems to me that half of the entire state of Texas has been built in the past 10-15 years. This has yet to be disproved.

2) I-35 will get you anywhere you need to go...slowly. It is best to find ways around it. We will be living in the Riverside area. It's a five minute drive from downtown and much cheaper than the posting above (we're talking HALF the price).

View Larger Map
This area is a little sketchy, but seems to have a nice mix of shady characters and students (read: will be completely gentrified in approx. two years).

3) Pictures of the bats fleeing the Congress Ave. bat bridge are best taken with a professional camera. My photo didn't exactly capture the glory.

This was just wonderful. We got there early and were able to snag a nice spot right by Town Lake. It was even more heart-warming to see the crowds that turned out. Instead of drinking on Sixth Street, hundreds of people withstood the heat and craned their necks at dusk to see a bunch of flying mammals hop out to party.

4) Austin is great. There are wonderful restaurants, fabulous bars, AND an amazing natural landscape. Plus music. Lots of live music. Go ahead. Pick out a band and tell me when you're visiting. http://www.austinchronicle.com/gyrobase/Calendar/MusicListings

Austin fun fact #1

2008-06-27T07:03:00.000-07:00

from www.austincityguide.com:

The Congress Avenue Bridge spans Town Lake in downtown Austin and is home to the largest urban bat colony in North America. The colony is estimated at 1.5 million Mexican free-tail bats. Each night from mid-March to November, the bats emerge from under the bridge at dusk to blanket the sky as they head out to forage for food. This event has become one of the most spectacular and unusual tourist attractions in Texas. The most spectacular bat flights are during hot, dry August nights, when multiple columns of bats emerge. There are several points from which to view the event, and an information kiosk is located on the north bank of the river, just east of the bridge.

Zach and I will be in Texas this time next week viewing places to live. Next blog: a report on apartment-hunting in Austin.

Deep in the Heart of...

2008-06-18T11:13:00.000-07:00

In August, I will move from Columbia, Missouri (pop: 95,000) to Austin, Texas (pop: 710,000). We all know that everything is bigger in Texas, but my hope is that my time in The Lone Star State will allow me to investigate myths and educate my readers about what it's like to live in a place that, on February 1st, 1861 seceeded from the union to be the charter member of the Confederate States of America. Ultimately, I want and expect to come up with some misconceptions about Texas. I imagine that living in Austin will challenge all of my perceptions and stereotypes about ten gallon hats and big hair (see:http://www.keepaustinweird.com/). I'm hoping that messing with Texas will have many interesting and positive results. Because, to quote Kinky Friedman, "I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes."