What I Could Have Been (a potential two part series)

So I was watching Biggest Loser last night (big ups...I don't care if only fat people watch you...I will stay true for your inspirational triumphs) and I got an idea for a post. See, the chubbos (as I affectionately call them) were at a food bank and it reminded me, hey I almost worked at a food bank. Then I thought of all the things I've almost done and it seemed worth listing. Below is a list of many of the professions that I almost tapdanced my way into.

1- Volunteer Coordinator at a food bank in Chicago - I went through two interviews there. The second one involved a tour where I was asked if I was passionate about feeding the hungry. I, of course, said that I was, but I think it was apparent that it was a new passion pretty relative to the fact that I had an interview. It's okay. It was in an industrial area and the commute involved a train and a bus and took over an hour.

2 - A part-time administrative assistant in the Alumni department at DePaul in downtown Chicago. The guy that interviewed me was very aggressive. When I told him my biggest weakness he said, "Well that's not really a weakness, is it?" Of course not! You're never supposed to give an actual weakness! Then he asked me if I were to answer the phone right now for them, how would I do it? I awkwardly stumbled through something, realizing that it takes zero skill and would be no indicator of how good I would be at the position. I think my distaste for him showed.

3 - Some sort of assistant at Bacon's Information - On the way to the interview I get North and South Michigan Ave. mixed up. I have to walk five very long blocks. I show up sweaty and frazzled. They give me an editing test. There are supposed to be 12 errors and I can only find 10. I am doomed.

4- Program Manager for Entrepreneur's Foundation in Austin - It's my first interview in Austin. I show up and immediately they ask, "How do you understand our business model and how would you describe it?" Then, "Explain our Equity model." My hour on the website did not prepare me for this. I blow it and do not get a second interview.

5 - Sales Assistant at I.B. Nuts and Fruit Too - I thought I'd jump back to part-time jobs in Columbia, MO while I was in college. Two women ask me about my interest in making deliveries. I don't remember much else other than being a little relieved that I don't have to tell people that I work at a place called "I.B. Nuts."

6- Sales Assistant at the Disney Store - Creepy. Me, Emily, and six other people sit in a circle. We all talk about our favorite Disney characters. They tell us that they never schedule anyone for longer than four hour shifts because the amount of enthusiasm they expect cannot be maintained for longer than that. We meet a zombie that works there and talks about how he takes advantage of the Disney World trip every year and loves it enough to accept $6.25/hour. Emily and I shudder.

7- Assistant Program Manager at a local Austin nonprofit - I'm leaving out the name because this happened within the past three months and kind of broke my heart. I have a long, passionate phone interview that happens to take place until 10 pm at night. This woman rescheduled because I had been in Oklahoma when she initially called. We gab about the rewards of nonprofit work, our enthusiasm for working with youth, our experiences in cold weather cities. She dazzles me with her respect for my level of education and intellect. I get a second interview. I go in and talk with the staff. They are all equally respectful. Weeks later I get the best rejection letter I've ever gotten, assuring me that they expect great things in my future and that she looks forward to our paths crossing and hearing about my future successes. I resist the urge to die a little inside.

8 - Admissions position at a college - I'm not naming the school for similar reasons to #7. Needless to say, I interviewed for this job twice in three months. The first time I meet a committee, they go around the table and take turns asking me questions, one after the other. I don't get the position, even though this position is remarkably similar to the one I had in Columbia, MO. Then, the position is open again a month later. I apply again. They call me in for an interview, again. I think, wow they must want to hire me. I meet a similar committee. They ask me the exact same questions as the first committee. I still do not get the job.

9 - Editorial positon at a PR company - They tell me that they can offer approx. 30 hours now, but that it may decrease as the work diminishes. They tell me they can't provide benefits. They tell me it will involve a lot of data entry. I eagerly tell them I like data entry, but am obviously discouraged by the lack of hours and benefits. I don't really like data entry. Nobody likes data entry. The woman basically tells me how terrible the job will be and that I am overqualified. I don't get the job.

This is just a smattering of the interviews I have had. I am suddenly concerned that future employers will find this and think I'm pathetic. I am not. I am just open to many exciting career opportunities. I am still looking for the right fit. I believe I have learned from these interviews and each one has made me a more composed, mature individual. Oh and I love data entry.